What always gets me, is that it doesn't matter how far you think you've come and how much pain you've already endured, there is always more to become. The change happens when you start to welcome the hurt and the pain as you know that there is where growth begins. I used to try hiding from things that were uncomfortable and I had orchestrated my life (and all the people in it) to avoid feelings that were painful or awkward or hard for me. It's funny how we do that without ever knowing that we are doing it.
It took a complete change in my life, for me to see clearly how protective I had been of myself and how many untruths I had taken as if they were fact. That is what most of us do, without even knowing it. We build a wall around our thoughts and feelings and keep building it higher every time someone gets close to the edge. Change happens when you can see yourself building that wall, and put a stop to it and true transformation happens when you can start to tear down some of those walls, completely uprooting them, and truly letting people in.
I am in a daily battle with my walls. And every day I am grateful for the ability to self-reflect and realize that in every moment I have a choice. I can chose to stay the same or I can choose to grow. Today I choose growth (and all the hurt and pain and murkiness that comes with it). I hope you do too.